I am not a feminist, let me make that very clear. I am a humanist... I believe we are all equal, and just because I have a vagina does not mean I should be treated any better or worse than my male counterparts. I do not want a man to open doors for me specifically because of my vagina, I don't need him to mow the lawn or take the trash out because that is a "man's job." I would never expect a man to pay for me on a first date just because that is tradition... it is sexist and it goes against everything I believe as a woman. We are equal, I can pay my own way through life and I can mow my own lawn.
That being said, I have a problem with women who expect to be treated like equals when it suits them, calling themselves feminists and then expect a man to pay for the first date or open the door for them and judge the man negatively when he does not do these things. Don't get me wrong, I like the door being opened for me but I am also willing to open it for a man. I won't be offended if a man doesn't open the door for me though and he would get a second date if he didn't open the door.
I was having a conversation with my friend the other night (who is a mother) and she said "just because you have a vagina, it does not make you the better parent." This statement struck me as profound because our society has went from treating women as less than men, to giving them special considerations because they have a vagina while simultaneously making unfair, sexist generalizations about them. Majority of fathers who take the mothers of their children to court for full custody will be denied. According to attorneys.com, approximately 10-15% of single or divorced fathers get full custody of their children and it is only under extenuating circumstances that renders the mother incapable of caring for their children. There are of course some really shitty fathers out there, but there are some seriously shitty mothers too but I feel like it goes back to our society thinking that women are made for the sole purpose of procreation and child rearing.
Just because you can have a baby does not mean you should have a baby. I honestly believe it is why our news outlets focus so heavily on cases that involve murderous women, because for some reason we just can't seem to see women as having the capacity to kill another life even though this has been proven wrong. We still have these sexist beliefs that women are caring, sensitive, and more apt to nurture than men are. This is simply untrue. I have met amazing women who were born to have children and I have met wonderful men who were born to raise children... on the other hand I know women who are ruthless and can handle a weapon proficiently, and are easily capable of killing if they need to. I know caring and nurturing people who have absolutely zero desire to have children, it does not make them any less caring or compassionate.
I was driving to work this morning jamming out to some Brett Dennen and
happy as a clam in Antoinette's pants when I came upon a SUV that had a
bumper sticker that said CAUTION: BLONDE MOMENT. Now, let me preface
this with: I don't normally get bothered by these things... I just brush
it off and feel bad for the silly woman that would be so willing
to self-deprecate her own intelligence with ignorant generalizations like
this. This statement is never directed at blonde men, it is only
directed toward blonde women and it annoys the shit out of me. I'm not even
blonde, I can't imagine how irritating it would be if I was blonde.
The fact that this woman was driving around so proudly with this damn bumper sticker on her car advertising her own incompetence irritated me and made me dislike her even though I don't know her. I don't know her, but I know I don't respect her as a human being because she perpetuates the sexist cycle of making generalizations about women based off the fact that every Playboy Playmate with FAKE blonde hair acts stupid because for some damn reason men are attracted to stupid, slutty women that are willing to degrade themselves for a mans attention. So somehow this "blonde moment" comment has been turned into this self-deprecating statement used by men and women to belittle the woman while making her feel like she isn't being belittled.
We are all equals, that is the fact of life. I am not better than anyone else because of my vagina or because I am white or because I am awesome :), and I don't want to be treated differently because of these things. I don't want special considerations to be made to accommodate my vagina or my PMS cycle. If I am being mean, or aggressive I don't want the stupid generalization thrown out there that I must be PMS'ing. Maybe I am just grumpy and that is ok. Women can be grumpy without being bitchy and without PMS'ing just like men can be.