Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Hey kiddos. It has been a long time since I last wrote to you about what's going on in my head. I figured today is the perfect day to do it since I went out for lunch at work today and drank beer; therefore, ruining any productivity I might have had otherwise.

I was looking at Facebook the other day, and one of my friends had posted a picture of Natalie Portman with her famous quote "I'd rather be smart than a movie star." As you probably know, Natalie Portman holds a B.S. from Harvard in Psychology, which can be argued that she only got in based off the fact that she was a movie star; however, I would argue that based on her early academic achievements she did deserve a place at Harvard. If you want a full breakdown of her education, this article is pretty good: http://www.examiner.com/article/natalie-portman-s-surprising-educational-background

As a lifetime student, who doesn't see graduation in her future ever... ok, I might be a little dramatic right now, but seriously y'all, have you ever tried to work full time and go to Graduate School? Let me tell you, I would *seriously* consider giving away one of my important digits (like my right middle finger) to be handed a doctorate instead of doing all this work to possibly be rejected from the program when I apply anyway. Or worse, be so burnt out that I chuck it all in the fuck it bucket and give up with a Masters. Anyways, as always I digress. So I sat and thought about Ms. Portman's quote and which I would rather have: money, fame, beauty or an education, a brain, good grammar, and proper spelling. I have to say I agree with her, I'd rather be smart than anything else.

Average looking women can make themselves "beautiful" very easily by bleaching their hair platinum, rubbing on the raccoon eyes, and pretty much hiding every feature that is theirs naturally by caking on 76 pounds of make up, yet they will never be able to learn the difference between their, there, and they're. This isn't their fault, I'm not blaming these women. I blame our society for glorifying and celebrating physical beauty over being intelligent. The unfortunate truth is that women are still judged harshly on their appearance rather than what their abilities are. We are still held to this incredibly high standard of what is beautiful... and apparently it is bleached out hair, too much make up, an airbrushed complexion, and being ridiculously skinny. Skinny, not fit... which is bizarre considering the obesity rate in this country.

There seems to be this culture of "nerd" girls popping up that is trying to combat what is considered beautiful, but honestly, I think they are just a bunch of hipsters. Watching The Big Bang Theory, wearing black rimmed glasses and a Batman T-shirt with Chuck Taylors is enough to put you into this category. I don't really have a point of where I'm going with this blog, I'm just unamused today by what society considers beautiful and I'm tired of vain people. Do you want to know what I think is beautiful? Here are a few things:

  1. A woman who can wake up in the morning after a one night stand and not scare the shit out of her partner when he sees her face has been left behind on the pillow case.
  2. Women who are not afraid to play with the boys. I see so many men out there having a great time doing some fun looking stuff... and their wives/girlfriends/fuck buddy on the side lines watching their big strong men be big strong men. Fuck all that, I want to have fun. Who cares if I get sweaty and get completely wrecked in the process? I'd rather look like a fool while I'm having fun, than being a boring twatbag on the sidelines.
  3. In 2009, there were two women who won the Nobel prize in Physiology and Medicine: Elizabeth H. Blackburn and Carol W. Greider. A woman, Ada E. Yonath also won the Nobel prize in Chemistry in 2009. 
  4. Women who own their decisions and don't apologize for going against the mainstream, pop-culture.
  5. Having female friends that are amazing. Women know what I mean by this. Amazing female friends are hard to come by, when you find one of them you dig in with your paws and NEVER EVER EVER let go because they are 1 in a 1,000,000.

Below is a tutorial for you average looking women that want to be hot and for you men that want to see how it's done:

(It is very funny as well)