If I am nothing else, I am honest... much to the dismay of my family I am sure.
Today I was looking at Facebook and realized that I hadn't heard anything from my Father in many months, probably closer to a year.... so I popped on over to his Facebook page and took a look. It's so funny to me because his page is littered with Propaganda about Jesus. Yes, I called it Propaganda. It's hilarious to me because I read through all this stuff and all I can sit and think is what a joke. I look at some of the comments from my Grandmother, and all about her love for Jesus and I laugh to myself... thankful that I am at least an honest person and not a hypocrite. This is the same woman who deleted me from Facebook because I do not believe in her god. This is the same woman who told me when I was 14 years old, grieving the loss of my mother, that my mother was a whore and she was the reason we were alone. This is a woman who professes love for Jesus and calls herself a Christian. She can call herself anything she wants to call herself, if a woman like her gets into heaven I don't want anything to do with that heaven or the god that let her in.
If I were walking down the street and passed her and my father, I would not be able to pick them out in a group of strangers. I have a vague idea of what they look like because of Facebook and pictures on it, but I have not seen him since my Mother's funeral 18 years ago, and before that when I was 9. I have not seen her since I was 9. These people call themselves Christians. They profess love for a god that teaches love, acceptance, helping your fellow man, etc. They spew propaganda on their pages and make it appear that they do in fact love Jesus, and that they do in fact live a holy life by the words of Christ. Do as I say not as I do is apparently their credo though. I shall tell the world that I love Jesus, but I will turn my back on my children when they need me. I will judge them because they do not hold the same beliefs as me. I will pollute my body with drugs, and beat the woman who gave birth to my children, leaving her unconscious, pregnant body on train tracks to die as I continue to profess my love for Jesus. To this, all I can do is hope that Karma exists and that what you put out comes back to you.
Don't get me wrong, I have no ill will for either of these people, but I also have no feelings for them either. It is indifference I feel about these people, with a twang of disgust because of what they are. It is because I see millions of people like them that live a life that they say is for god, while professing their Christian faith, and yet they are filled with hatred, judgement, and cruelty. These people disgust me and make me hate the Christian faith... which totally sucks because I know some of the most awesome Christians who actually do live their life as the bible tells them to live. They practice love, acceptance, kindness as their god did. The problem is they seem to be the minority of the Christian faith now. Unfortunately, these are not the people who are on the pulpits preaching to the masses, instead we get preachers who abuse children, steal from the church, steal from the needy, and preach hatred and judgement.
I don't need the prospect of buring in hell for eternity to not be a shitty person. Maybe they will read this, and maybe they won't. I don't really suppose their feelings matter to me very much, as mine did not matter to them. Although, I do feel a twang of guilt writing this as I prefer not to hurt people's feelings as I don't like it when mine are hurt.