So I saw a groundhog get ran over by a car today because the driver could not take 5 seconds out of their day to stop and honk their horn to scare it out of the road. Instead it *tried* to swerve around it and instead scared it into running toward the car and getting hit... it did not die, instead it laid in the road flopping around like a fish out of water. I cried my eyes out when I saw this happen. I can admit, an injured animal will bring me to my knees and I lose it whenever animals are injured... more so than when I see injured people. Has our society become so desensitized by death to humans that we are no longer affected by it because it is plastered all over the TV and the Internet?
I seriously cried my eyes out because of this poor groundhog and I seriously thought about going back on a major highway to try to help this dying groundhog. I don't know what I would have done and I probably would have had a breakdown seeing this poor, innocent animal laying there in agonizing pain and being unable to help it in its last final moments when it is terrified and alone. I am afraid of dying, I can openly admit that. It keeps me up at night sometimes because I can get rather morbid when I watch my girls Blanche, Sophia, Rose, and Dorothy on The Golden Girls. It just breaks my heart that Rose is the last living Golden Girl. Death is such a scary idea, and it is even more scary because I don't believe in anything after this life. In my world this is it, this is the finale, the end of the line, Ka-Put. There are so many things that I instantly miss when I think of not being here anymore, it terrifies me. I don't want to die. Ever. I am one of those people who want to be hooked up to every machine necessary to keep me alive and put into every research program possible because death scares the shit out of me.
So I am not sure if any of you have ever noticed but it seems that when flies are getting ready to die they seem to swell up and get very lethargic. They buzz around haphazardly running into windows, people, toilets. Everything. They also get huge all of a sudden... there is this huge lethargic fly that has been buzzing around me for hours now and part of me wants to kill it because it keeps whacking me in the side of the head. I swear the buzzing of flies in your ears is almost as creepy sounding as Barry Badirnath with his creepy pedophile mustache. I want to kill this fly and put it out of its misery but what if it is like me and terrified of death? Is death welcome to creatures who have no conscious thought or self-awareness? How do we know that flies don't feel like we do? The fly that keeps whacking me in the side of the head is either lucky tonight or brutally unlucky, I am not going to smoosh his guts on my wall tonight.