I Don't See the Point. :/

I'm not normally a person to sit around and wonder what the point of life is. I tend to be the more energetic type that always wants to have fun, never wants to sit still, and has a very optimistic outlook on life. I'm still feeling rather optimistic at this moment in time, but the last few days I have not been able to help myself with wondering what the point of all this is.

This could all relate back to that pesky biological clock of mine... as I have no children, because I have heard that having children gives people meaning to their lives. Seeing as there are no children in my immediate future (who knows, I might decide to have one someday), I'm wondering if that really is the only way to find meaning. I know I can volunteer my time and I have, but even still... is my sole way of finding satisfaction with this planet to give all of my time to others? I suppose then I will be so busy that I don't have time or energy to wonder what the point of life is.

I'm not depressed, I'm actually rather happy. I'm not going to remove myself from this world as I don't believe there are any others. I'm just going to downsize my life because I don't see what the point of having all this "stuff" is anymore. I'm probably not going to go for a doctorate when my Masters is complete because I don't see the point of it. I don't see the point of staying friends with people that I don't really care about in the first place, they just take time away from people I do care about. I don't see the point in holding onto grudges or weird feelings anymore because they are just a waste of time from a life that I don't see the point of.

People always spew some bullshit about "live your best life" and "YOLO" and all this other inspirational bullshit that is meant to pull you up by your boot-straps and encourage you, but I think that those people are incredibly shallow people. I think they are able to spew some bullshit because they don't actually ever sit and wonder what the point of life is. Their brains don't have the capacity to think about something other than celebrity culture, haute couture, and reality TV as they pretend that their life is one big "adventure." Or the opposite, the religious types with their beliefs that they are living their lives to end up in heaven... and then what? So you get to heaven and do what? You live there forever in the clouds drinking Mai Thai's sitting next to Allah?? Well what the fuck is the point of that? I don't like Mai Thai's, I don't like sitting around, and I don't like being happy all the time. Some times I like being angry and some times I really like screaming cuss words at the top of my lungs in my car.

I think I need to go on some spiritual journey that involves sitting under a tree - starving myself, or something along those lines so that I can find the meaning of life... or at least starve myself into hallucinations because I feel like this is all a bunch of bullshit.