I recently finished reading Fahrenheit 451 by Ray
Bradbury, this book is absolutely astonishing to me. Mostly due to the
fact that it was written in 1953, during an era of voluntary oppression
where people went to their industrial job for 8-10 hours a day, every
single day, without complaint, and without thought as to the meaning of
life. It was a time when women willingly set back women's rights by 20
years to become Susie Homemaker and had no other aspirations in life
other than to be pregnant tending house for their men. Anyways, off
point there.
The 50's was a great time for books, and
in my humble opinion one of the most remarkable times for literature.
Some of the greatest stories ever told came out of the 50's, such as
Catcher in the Rye, 1984 (although written in 1949), Lord of the Flies,
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Fahrenheit 451, Night, Charlotte's Web,
and so many more. Books that have relevance now more than ever. The
funny part is that many of those books were banned and even burned in
the 50's for being irreligious, too sexually explicit, or using some
word that was offensive in some way to one person or another. The
premise of the book Fahrenheit 451 is a society where books are burned
on sight, that the only books allowed to be read are shortened versions
of books that have been reduced to a single paragraph summing up the
book (Spark Notes), but removing anything that someone could find
offensive. (Wow, I couldn't imagine a life with not being able to get
my hands on any book I want to read at any time.)
The only books that were available were comic books and
erotica. While reading this book, it stuck me as odd because in the book
it made constant mention to DentiFloss and the constant advertising
being jammed down the throat of society by the multitude of hours spent
in front of televisions trying to find happiness through other people's
lives. They would spend hours in their "parlors" surrounded by massive
television sets that were constantly blaring loud programs and
advertising about what will make you happiest. They commonly referred to
these programs as "The Relatives" because they spent so much time with
them and they were essentially part of the family. People became so
engrossed by the television that eventually they voluntarily gave up
books and there was little resistance when they began burning them.
Their lives were boring and dull, all the excitement they got was from
watching other people live their lives on television... and they were ok
with this because they would just take their "happy" pills to make them
numb to all the things that felt wrong or are missing from their lives.
They took sleeping pills to sleep, happy pills to be happy, and new
blood when they happened to have too much of one thing or another. They
drove extremely fast when they needed to feel some sort of excitement
about life and their children were nothing more than for show.
Boy how close this apple fell... I know people who
have lives that revolve around their "programs" and television. People
who have massive televisions that blare all the time and they get all
their information from what is spewed out of the television. They don't
read books, they have massive televisions that are constantly blaring
advertisement and programs telling them how to live "their best life"
and what to wear to make them happiest. I speculate that The Jersey
Shore and 16 and Pregnant are only popular television shows because
their lives are such train wrecks, that it makes people feel better
about their own life. People who would kill themselves without their
happy pills, people who drive dangerously to feel excited about life,
and people who have children because that is what is expected of them.
Myself included in this, when I feel myself getting upset or sad about
something I will turn on the TV so that I have a distraction. So I can
just watch TV and "zone" out so I don't have to think about anything. I
drive fast when I am angry and slow when I am thinking about things.
Advertising
is what tells us what we need and what will make us happy if we acquire
it. It is a constant stream of chatter about how much stuff we need...
the more stuff we have the happier we will be right? It is my personal
opinion that this type of thinking has resulted in a lot of people being
extremely unhappy with their lives. Not only are they massively in
debt, they are now slaves to their jobs and their lifestyles because of
all this "stuff" that was supposed to make them happy but has not so
they buy more, perpetuating the cycle. Instead of working on themselves
as human beings, when they feel a void in their lives, or a tinge of
unhappiness, they run to the nearest store and buy something new to make
themselves feel better. Advertising is a constant drone in the
background to life and it has created a
massive market for pharmaceutical companies because people seem to be
missing one fundamental concept... more stuff does not make you
happier... so they keep buying and digging their hole filling it with
stuff as they pop their pills to feel better about life.
I was recently having a conversation with someone about the brand
North Face. Anyone who knows me, knows I am a label whore when it comes
to The North Face product line. I have at least 6 different North Face
jackets, backpacks, fleeces, hats, gloves, etc. I willingly pay more for
the brand because I think it performs better even though it often costs
more than brands with proven track records that perform equally or
better. I am not entirely sure where I got the idea that it performs
better, I just feel like it does. One of the people I was having this
conversation with said something about wanting a North Face jacket
because they looked cool, and then went on to say that is what North
Face wants you to think though right? So maybe he wanted the coat
because North Face made him think he needed the coat to be cooler. The
North Face has advertised extensively to break out of just being a
mountaineering brand to become a brand to be worn by suburbanites
following the wilderness chic trend, who could never even dream up the
idea to climb a mountain nor ever need a jacket that is 850 fill goose
down to keep you warm in -30 degree weather. I am making a conscious
effort starting right now to stop being a label whore with this brand
and to question why I felt the need to in the first place.
I feel like this is an important subject right now because
Christmas is right around the corner. I am seeing people fighting over
toys for their children that are sold out because their children are
also being subjected to extensive advertising telling them what they
would want to play with. We are letting companies that have a financial
interest in us wanting their product telling us what we want in life and
what will make us happy. Only we can decide what will make us happy and
I assure you, it is not a material item. This holiday season, try to
remember what is important. It is not about buying a ton of presents for
someone to show them that you care about them... the more money spent
does not mean they love you more. It is about spending time with the
ones you love and care about. The ones who make your life a better
place, the ones who help you to stay off the happy pills, the ones who
make you a better person, and the ones who help you build the life you
want. Celebrate your friendships, your relationships, your families and
let them all know how much they mean to you. Tell them, and show them,
don't assume that they know... and for gods sake don't go in debt trying
to buy their love. Happy Holidays from an atheist who has nothing to
gain from this rant about advertising or the commercialism that has
taken over this world. Good day all! <3
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Pluto and Life: What's the Difference? Nothing.
What is up with all the negativity on Facebook lately? Whenever I log in I seem to be reading this constant stream of everyone's negative feelings and how the universe has plotted against them once again to see their demise. What about the happy feelings that must be experienced at least once in a while? Why don't people ever post how happy they are feeling or the good things that have happened to them recently?
Last night my life partner (aka J-Don, Jenny Baby, J-Woww, and sometimes Pam) brought it to my attention the constant negativity of some people on Facebook. They complain about everything, and they always think the world is against them in some way shape or form. After she said this, I couldn't help but notice that she was right. People just want to complain all the time. Here is my question to you people who complain all the time: Why don't you do something about it? Quit making excuses and truly do something about your problem?
So this is how it goes, this is your one chance at life... you get no other shots once this one is wasted up, so why do you insist on focusing on the negative and being an all out downer in general? To speak the truth here, people avoid suck ass people like you because we get tired of dealing with your "Whoa is me" attitude that just generally sucks a big fat ass. Due to the fact that this is a public forum and not the place to call people out, you guys know who you are. If you feel like this applies to you, even if it doesn't take heed and do something about sucking so much fat ass.
So I am tired of people taking things personally. Everyone takes everything so personally, like everything is a personal attack to them and their character. Why do they do this? These people need to realize that they are not the sun, the galaxy does not revolve around them... they are in fact, Pluto... this tiny, inconsequential "planet" that most other planets, stars, and galaxies do not even see from their surface... they care so little about it that they even took away its planet status. This is you... this is me. There are only a few scientists that truly care about Pluto, much like there are only a few people who truly care about you. So if a star 47 million light years away has something bad to say about Pluto or the fact that it was downgraded from Planet to star, what does Pluto care? That shit is so far removed from Pluto's world that he handles that shit like a Boss and just lets that junk roll off his surface.I wish more people would start acting like Pluto and stop acting like the Sun.
Life is what you make it. If you make it suck, it is going to suck. If you make it good and focus on the positive, then it will be good. YOU are the only person who can change your life and the only one who can be expected to change it. Your happiness is dependent on you, no one else and really, it isn't the job of anyone else to fix your shit. Moving on.
Last night my life partner (aka J-Don, Jenny Baby, J-Woww, and sometimes Pam) brought it to my attention the constant negativity of some people on Facebook. They complain about everything, and they always think the world is against them in some way shape or form. After she said this, I couldn't help but notice that she was right. People just want to complain all the time. Here is my question to you people who complain all the time: Why don't you do something about it? Quit making excuses and truly do something about your problem?
So this is how it goes, this is your one chance at life... you get no other shots once this one is wasted up, so why do you insist on focusing on the negative and being an all out downer in general? To speak the truth here, people avoid suck ass people like you because we get tired of dealing with your "Whoa is me" attitude that just generally sucks a big fat ass. Due to the fact that this is a public forum and not the place to call people out, you guys know who you are. If you feel like this applies to you, even if it doesn't take heed and do something about sucking so much fat ass.
So I am tired of people taking things personally. Everyone takes everything so personally, like everything is a personal attack to them and their character. Why do they do this? These people need to realize that they are not the sun, the galaxy does not revolve around them... they are in fact, Pluto... this tiny, inconsequential "planet" that most other planets, stars, and galaxies do not even see from their surface... they care so little about it that they even took away its planet status. This is you... this is me. There are only a few scientists that truly care about Pluto, much like there are only a few people who truly care about you. So if a star 47 million light years away has something bad to say about Pluto or the fact that it was downgraded from Planet to star, what does Pluto care? That shit is so far removed from Pluto's world that he handles that shit like a Boss and just lets that junk roll off his surface.I wish more people would start acting like Pluto and stop acting like the Sun.
Life is what you make it. If you make it suck, it is going to suck. If you make it good and focus on the positive, then it will be good. YOU are the only person who can change your life and the only one who can be expected to change it. Your happiness is dependent on you, no one else and really, it isn't the job of anyone else to fix your shit. Moving on.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Occupy Wallstreet
So the new political movement Occupy Wallstreet is a bit delusional in my opinion. I believe wholeheartedly in what they are trying to accomplish, but I believe that it is going to fail because they are not being realistic. The whole movement is about the atrocious fact that major corporations spend billions of dollars to sway elections in their favor, stockpile trillions of dollars and further distance the rich from the poor economically, outsource work to china, all the while fighting the tax hike on millionaires (saying they are the "job-creators" yet don't actually hire Americans) with the political clout that they gain from their billions of dollars in campaign financing.
I get it, all these things are awful. Corporate campaign financing has ruined our democracy and should be illegal; instead the Supreme Court has made it not only legal but has encouraged it by not putting a ban on the spending limit. I hope that Occupy Wallstreet is successful in their movement, I really do... but this is why they are going to fail...
They are shunning support from major corporations who also believe in their cause. They are lumping all major corporations into the same category and using the credo that the only thing corporations are concerned with is profit. This may be true in most circumstances, but there are major corporations out there that have had huge profits and still do their share to be globally and socially responsible. Just a few:
Clif Bars
Xerox
BackCountry
Weyerhaeuser
Disney
Nestle
Ben and Jerry's
Recently, Ben and Jerry's decided to feed the protestors in NYC's Zuccotti park that are at the base camp for the Occupy Wallstreet campaign, they did it with little fanfare and no logos on the items to show their support for the cause. Some of the protestors then had the audacity to come out against them for doing this... this is the ignorance of the protestors and why their campaign isn't going to work. Big Business rules the world. If you don't have some sort of backing by someone with public visibility or someone that the media has an interest in, your protest and your revolution is going to go unnoticed and no one is going to care about it. I think it was extremely short sighted and idealistic on the protestors part (who are all young 20 somethings) to shun the support of a large corporation showing them support.
I wish all corporations would be banned; however, since that will never happen... I think we should help support those that do their part globally and socially and recognize that not all corporations are created equal. There are the very few exceptions that do care about their customers, that do care about hiring American employees and not outsourcing their work, that care about the environment, and care about the overall impact that their product(s) have on society. The facts of life are that we live in a branded society, we live in a Target, Wal-Mart, Costco society. They have pushed out most of the competing businesses because of their ridiculously low prices from their outsourced labor... there is no way around these facts now. People should have been fighting that fight 15 years ago when the trend was beginning to set roots in our communities. There are hardly any options to get supplies locally except for these huge chains, it is a sad and terrible fact. I am going to bet that a good chunk of these people participating in the Occupy Wallstreet campaign still do their shopping at one of these major stores, or maybe one of the major grocery chains?? Whole Foods maybe?? What about the $9 billion dollars of revenue that Whole Foods generated in 2010?? I got $9 billion dollars to go with my idealistic, arrogant, attitude and my organic fruit that was shipped all the way from fucking Guatemala or Argentina... But what the fuck, who cares about the cost of the fuel to get it there because organic means BETTER... So I have my organic banana from Guatemala to eat while I protest the greed of corporate America. Don't want to get hungry in the middle of protesting such things.
Starbucks is another company that has come out publicly calling for a ban on campaign financing... Starbucks, a company that could easily make more money by lobbying FDA regulations on public health codes, yet they do not. I hate Starbucks and the branding of America that it represents, but Starbucks is doing its part to be socially and globally responsible. They have cut energy consumption, use recycled cups, give discounts to customers for using their own cups, will give away the used coffee grounds to customers for composting if requested, and they are ranked No. 15 on the EPA's list of top 25 Environmentally Friendly Companies.
This whole protest takes on the meaning to me as the saying "It is not your Christ I do not like, it is your Christians." They are delusional, idealistic, and arrogant which is just terrible because it is a great cause to support because corporate greed is ruining this country and has corrupted our democracy already.
I get it, all these things are awful. Corporate campaign financing has ruined our democracy and should be illegal; instead the Supreme Court has made it not only legal but has encouraged it by not putting a ban on the spending limit. I hope that Occupy Wallstreet is successful in their movement, I really do... but this is why they are going to fail...
They are shunning support from major corporations who also believe in their cause. They are lumping all major corporations into the same category and using the credo that the only thing corporations are concerned with is profit. This may be true in most circumstances, but there are major corporations out there that have had huge profits and still do their share to be globally and socially responsible. Just a few:
Clif Bars
Xerox
BackCountry
Weyerhaeuser
Disney
Nestle
Ben and Jerry's
Recently, Ben and Jerry's decided to feed the protestors in NYC's Zuccotti park that are at the base camp for the Occupy Wallstreet campaign, they did it with little fanfare and no logos on the items to show their support for the cause. Some of the protestors then had the audacity to come out against them for doing this... this is the ignorance of the protestors and why their campaign isn't going to work. Big Business rules the world. If you don't have some sort of backing by someone with public visibility or someone that the media has an interest in, your protest and your revolution is going to go unnoticed and no one is going to care about it. I think it was extremely short sighted and idealistic on the protestors part (who are all young 20 somethings) to shun the support of a large corporation showing them support.
I wish all corporations would be banned; however, since that will never happen... I think we should help support those that do their part globally and socially and recognize that not all corporations are created equal. There are the very few exceptions that do care about their customers, that do care about hiring American employees and not outsourcing their work, that care about the environment, and care about the overall impact that their product(s) have on society. The facts of life are that we live in a branded society, we live in a Target, Wal-Mart, Costco society. They have pushed out most of the competing businesses because of their ridiculously low prices from their outsourced labor... there is no way around these facts now. People should have been fighting that fight 15 years ago when the trend was beginning to set roots in our communities. There are hardly any options to get supplies locally except for these huge chains, it is a sad and terrible fact. I am going to bet that a good chunk of these people participating in the Occupy Wallstreet campaign still do their shopping at one of these major stores, or maybe one of the major grocery chains?? Whole Foods maybe?? What about the $9 billion dollars of revenue that Whole Foods generated in 2010?? I got $9 billion dollars to go with my idealistic, arrogant, attitude and my organic fruit that was shipped all the way from fucking Guatemala or Argentina... But what the fuck, who cares about the cost of the fuel to get it there because organic means BETTER... So I have my organic banana from Guatemala to eat while I protest the greed of corporate America. Don't want to get hungry in the middle of protesting such things.
Starbucks is another company that has come out publicly calling for a ban on campaign financing... Starbucks, a company that could easily make more money by lobbying FDA regulations on public health codes, yet they do not. I hate Starbucks and the branding of America that it represents, but Starbucks is doing its part to be socially and globally responsible. They have cut energy consumption, use recycled cups, give discounts to customers for using their own cups, will give away the used coffee grounds to customers for composting if requested, and they are ranked No. 15 on the EPA's list of top 25 Environmentally Friendly Companies.
This whole protest takes on the meaning to me as the saying "It is not your Christ I do not like, it is your Christians." They are delusional, idealistic, and arrogant which is just terrible because it is a great cause to support because corporate greed is ruining this country and has corrupted our democracy already.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Degree of Relativity
We all have the potential to be crazy, the degree of relativity for craziness is the huge difference between us all. So my personal experiences have dealt with a lot of crazy f*cking people, and not just "Oh Girl, that girl is SOO Crazy" or "that b*tch be crazy" I mean clinically ape sh*t crazy. For the most part I am able to contain my crazy, it usually is only seen in the form of licking strangers when I am drunk or biting nipples of random men that walk by me at concerts. I am slowly growing out of this habit though due to the fact that I could potentially get gonoherpasyphaids from this practice and I just don't think that would be much fun to take care of for the rest of my life... other than that threat that looms on the horizon, I really see nothing wrong with this practice.
This one particular person who used to be in my life until the crazy got so bad that I just had to walk away is on my mind lately. I miss the person terribly, but I have a lot of bitterness and anger in my heart over all the lying that this person did to their own detriment as well as their entire family. I miss a person who is not actually the real person. They had this persona that they would put on and say what you wanted to hear, lie straight to your face for god only knows what reason, and really told some doozies for lies. I mean big ones, that affect other people's lives. This person is clinically effing nuts to the core and it has been in my best interest thus far to walk away and have no contact because they were doing a great job of bringing me down with them, but I do love this person very dearly... so it has been a pickle. I find it heartbreaking that I have to choose between my sanity and having this person in my life... Ahhhhviously I will choose self-preservation. It still doesn't make me feel any better though, so I just don't think about it. I'm not a thinker, I don't dwell on things for very long usually. I must reiterate the word USUALLY!
I used to wonder why this person would get so mad at me whenever I told them to stop putting on their fake smile in pictures. I guess I now know it is because they don't have any other smile, they are rotten to the core and incapable of genuinely smiling because they are incapable of ever being happy. Due to this person's illness, they are not capable of seeing their mistakes and they are always the "victim" and it has always been like this... at least as long as I can remember. This person has easily replaced me and anyone else in her life that has called her out on her craziness and there appears to be nothing more that I can do anyway. So alas, I was just writing to vent some frustration/irritation/anger/hurt/hostility... and these are the days of our lives. Moving on. I want an RV... let me tell you why...
This one particular person who used to be in my life until the crazy got so bad that I just had to walk away is on my mind lately. I miss the person terribly, but I have a lot of bitterness and anger in my heart over all the lying that this person did to their own detriment as well as their entire family. I miss a person who is not actually the real person. They had this persona that they would put on and say what you wanted to hear, lie straight to your face for god only knows what reason, and really told some doozies for lies. I mean big ones, that affect other people's lives. This person is clinically effing nuts to the core and it has been in my best interest thus far to walk away and have no contact because they were doing a great job of bringing me down with them, but I do love this person very dearly... so it has been a pickle. I find it heartbreaking that I have to choose between my sanity and having this person in my life... Ahhhhviously I will choose self-preservation. It still doesn't make me feel any better though, so I just don't think about it. I'm not a thinker, I don't dwell on things for very long usually. I must reiterate the word USUALLY!
I used to wonder why this person would get so mad at me whenever I told them to stop putting on their fake smile in pictures. I guess I now know it is because they don't have any other smile, they are rotten to the core and incapable of genuinely smiling because they are incapable of ever being happy. Due to this person's illness, they are not capable of seeing their mistakes and they are always the "victim" and it has always been like this... at least as long as I can remember. This person has easily replaced me and anyone else in her life that has called her out on her craziness and there appears to be nothing more that I can do anyway. So alas, I was just writing to vent some frustration/irritation/anger/hurt/hostility... and these are the days of our lives. Moving on. I want an RV... let me tell you why...
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Ever Changing Face of Miss Myrtle
I don't really know why people tout the phrase that "Change is Good For You!" with a serious face. They must not make big changes often in their life. I am not entirely convinced that change is good for you... coming from a person who attempts major changes in life on average of 3.56 major changes every 5 months. I have always been told that change is good for me, and that I should not fear change, nor get too comfortable in life... and I never have. You can ask anyone who has ever lived with me, I move frequently and I hate staying in one place for too long, it starts to smell funny to me and I just plain don't like it. I don't understand why, it is just part of who I am. I wish someone would fill me in on why change is believed to be so good for us though. I just made a major change and I haven't decided if it is good or bad. I am feeling mighty depressed about it at the moment and I am sure hoping things begin to look up, but change can be hard on human beings. It is stressful, depressing, and some times not for the best. Maybe even 50% of the time not for the best.
That seems like a high statistic, but seriously why are we always trying to change our lives? Why can't we just live comfortably, with the people we know and love, and continue in that fashion with small regular changes such as the sheets on our beds? I don't know if this is my Gypsy soul finally settling down, not wanting change to occur so much anymore or if I am just in a stressful situation right now that I am hoping I won't end up regretting. Who knows, it is probably my rapidly deteriorating biological clock ticking its last final ticks in an attempt to get me to pop a kid out before my insides resemble dried up prunes.
I understand that change is necessary in some regards, but why are we encouraged to make major changes all the time? I think I am tired of change... this is probably that point in life where people's wardrobes stop progressing and you see people wearing their 25 year old Birkenstocks with MoM jeans and flannels. I will do my best to not let my wardrobe stop evolving... well except my 13 year old Birkenstocks.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
The Importance of 711 on a 20 Mile Run
I went on a 20 mile run tonight in preparation for voluntary manslaughter on October 2nd. Yup, that would be a marathon, 1 of 3 this season... in case you have never done one and are considering it, let me offer you this one small bit of advice... DO. NOT. DO. IT. Unless you meet the following criteria first:
1. You enjoy wearing spandex
2. You are completely irritated with all the free time you have on Sundays
3. You like the taste of butt hole (that is what GU packets taste like)
4. You don't mind not being able to walk upright for about 10 hours after long runs
5. You enjoy a diet of Ibuprofen, water, GU, and Gatorade. Rinse. Repeat.
** WAIVER** all these can be waived if you have children... I find that Mothers who run are exceptional long distance runners, I think it is because they are naturally fit from chasing children around, eating cold meals that also resemble the taste of butt hole, and enjoy Sundays out running for 4 hours as compared to being home because it is actually quiet while out running!
So my run tonight started out normal, I felt great for the first 12-13 miles. I was surprised with myself actually because I felt no pain, my heart rate was on the lower side, and nothing was pinching/riding up/chafing. Well that magic bus ride quickly came to an end around mile 13.5 when I started having the worst farts ever! They were soooo loud, which was really funny to me actually since I was alone and just had to turn around to see if anyone was behind me before I let the explosion come... but then all of a sudden I felt like I had a bad case of herpes climbing down my leg! So for the next 1.5 miles I kept on running through the intense pain of my shorts chafing my thighs! They get hungry sometimes and really like the taste of my spandex for some reason, I just can't seem to break them of this habit no matter how hard I try. Luckily there was a 711 in my sight and I was able to get some Vaseline. I was sitting on the ground in the parking lot of a 711, legs spread eagle, with both hands up my shorts applying Vaseline to my poor bloodied thighs while eating a banana with no hands. I am sure I was a sight that belonged on a cover of Hustler. After applying this magic medicine, eating my banana, and refilling my water bottle I was on my way to finish my last 5 miles. It was amazing... instant relief, well except for my boost booty blowout, I continued to fart my way all the way back to my truck 5 miles away.
True story. :)
Monday, September 19, 2011
The Price is Wrong B*tch!
I sold out. I sold out to myself, to my dreams, to who I am. There is no nice way of saying you are a sell out. I am a sell out.
I bought into "The American Dream" of a big house, a big salary, and nice THINGS. This is not who I am and I am having a hard time lately continuing to choke it down. I am not an unhappy individual, in fact I am a very happy individual most of the time. If I knew what I know now though, I would not have chose the same fate. I would not have gone after financial security or comfort. I would have checked my 18 year old ambition and determination at the door, bought a one way ticket to Colorado and became a guide on some outdoor adventure, or Mt. Rainier and became a Mountain guide.
Some people have such a strong work ethic, and some people when asked say they would continue to work if they won the lottery just so they wouldn't get bored. I don't trust those people and I tend to not like them because more than likely they are pretty boring fucking people. There is no chance in a burning house that I would ever work another day in my life if I didn't have to. There are so many things to do in this world and I want to do them all and I can't do them with a full time job, yet I need the full time job to do them. Do you see the conundrum?? Do you see where I am stuck here?
I went white water rafting with a friend on The New River in West Virginia recently. Our guide was a 24 year old woman from Rochester, NY who left Rochester the day after she graduated, moved to Fayette, West Virginia and learned to guide the rivers there from her father who also was a guide. She was very entertaining and kept telling jokes, one was "What is the difference between a cheese pizza and a raft guide? A cheese pizza can feed a family of four." It sort of made me think about things more than laugh about things... I would trade my comfortable life to be guiding a river, or be a bike guide, or on ski patrol and happily eat pork and beans for the rest of my life. I feel that I have gotten myself so far wedged into this "American Dream" though that the idea of escaping it now terrifies me more than jumping out of an airplane or hurdling down a mountain with something waxed binded to my feet... In addition to these fears, I don't even know how to get a job as a guide. Her name was Caitlin and she inspired me to look into making big changes with my life, which is funny because I am sure a lot of people would like to have my life. I have a nice life, I have nice things, I am loved very much, I have a nice job that is actually sort of fun in its own way, but I miss the outdoors. I miss grass between my toes, I miss the mountains, I miss being able to drive 5 minutes to absolute silence and quiet. Everything is so loud here in Baltimore. There is never real quiet and the sight of so much road kill on the sides of the roads tears at my heart strings. These animals are being booted from their home so more sub-divisions can be built and they have no place to go so they end up getting hit by the never-ending traffic here.
Last night I was driving to the grocery store and I saw a furry thing in the road, I thought it was a dead cat. As I drove by, it sort of flopped in the road. I grabbed what I needed very quickly from the store and drove quickly back down my road. I was coming up on it and had my hoodie and a magazine ready to jump out and grab it. I had taken my seat belt off in anticipation to grab it and move it or take it home as quickly as possible so it wouldn't lay dying in the middle of the road. I get up to it, get ready to jump out and upon close examination realize it is someone's fake hair. Some woman lost her damn weave in the middle of the road and I was ready to take it home and save it because I thought it was a hurt animal. Yeah, story of my life.
"My name is Ray-Ray and I am here all day!"
The rafting was pretty weak because there hadn't been much rain, but at least something good came out of it... by good I mean something to make me question all my decisions in life and wish I would have done them differently... a person who had no regrets, now has a major regret.
I bought into "The American Dream" of a big house, a big salary, and nice THINGS. This is not who I am and I am having a hard time lately continuing to choke it down. I am not an unhappy individual, in fact I am a very happy individual most of the time. If I knew what I know now though, I would not have chose the same fate. I would not have gone after financial security or comfort. I would have checked my 18 year old ambition and determination at the door, bought a one way ticket to Colorado and became a guide on some outdoor adventure, or Mt. Rainier and became a Mountain guide.
Some people have such a strong work ethic, and some people when asked say they would continue to work if they won the lottery just so they wouldn't get bored. I don't trust those people and I tend to not like them because more than likely they are pretty boring fucking people. There is no chance in a burning house that I would ever work another day in my life if I didn't have to. There are so many things to do in this world and I want to do them all and I can't do them with a full time job, yet I need the full time job to do them. Do you see the conundrum?? Do you see where I am stuck here?
I went white water rafting with a friend on The New River in West Virginia recently. Our guide was a 24 year old woman from Rochester, NY who left Rochester the day after she graduated, moved to Fayette, West Virginia and learned to guide the rivers there from her father who also was a guide. She was very entertaining and kept telling jokes, one was "What is the difference between a cheese pizza and a raft guide? A cheese pizza can feed a family of four." It sort of made me think about things more than laugh about things... I would trade my comfortable life to be guiding a river, or be a bike guide, or on ski patrol and happily eat pork and beans for the rest of my life. I feel that I have gotten myself so far wedged into this "American Dream" though that the idea of escaping it now terrifies me more than jumping out of an airplane or hurdling down a mountain with something waxed binded to my feet... In addition to these fears, I don't even know how to get a job as a guide. Her name was Caitlin and she inspired me to look into making big changes with my life, which is funny because I am sure a lot of people would like to have my life. I have a nice life, I have nice things, I am loved very much, I have a nice job that is actually sort of fun in its own way, but I miss the outdoors. I miss grass between my toes, I miss the mountains, I miss being able to drive 5 minutes to absolute silence and quiet. Everything is so loud here in Baltimore. There is never real quiet and the sight of so much road kill on the sides of the roads tears at my heart strings. These animals are being booted from their home so more sub-divisions can be built and they have no place to go so they end up getting hit by the never-ending traffic here.
Last night I was driving to the grocery store and I saw a furry thing in the road, I thought it was a dead cat. As I drove by, it sort of flopped in the road. I grabbed what I needed very quickly from the store and drove quickly back down my road. I was coming up on it and had my hoodie and a magazine ready to jump out and grab it. I had taken my seat belt off in anticipation to grab it and move it or take it home as quickly as possible so it wouldn't lay dying in the middle of the road. I get up to it, get ready to jump out and upon close examination realize it is someone's fake hair. Some woman lost her damn weave in the middle of the road and I was ready to take it home and save it because I thought it was a hurt animal. Yeah, story of my life.
"My name is Ray-Ray and I am here all day!"
The rafting was pretty weak because there hadn't been much rain, but at least something good came out of it... by good I mean something to make me question all my decisions in life and wish I would have done them differently... a person who had no regrets, now has a major regret.
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